Discipline your Toddler the Right Way

Discipline is a way of life. It’s management of our behaviour. Discipline is one of the ways of teaching your toddler kid to follow certain life rules which leads to follow a particular code of conduct and be systematic in life. Good mannerism, humble behaviour and conduct are few positive outcomes of discipline in kids, which helps them in preventing behavioural issues in future.

Discipline is a great way to impart knowledge and skills by the process of teaching. It’s well taught at home by parents, and then they learn from their teachers at school.

Parents must understand that there’s a thin line between loving and pampering. It’s an important trait, which to be taken care of, and lovingly nurtured.

As a parent, there are several questions that pop up in our minds like:

How to teach self-control/discipline? Do kids require a particular set of rules to abide by? Is there any method a child should learn, what are the lines which are not to be crossed, where to stop and when? Why kids throw tantrums, and how to deal with it?

Toddlerhood in particular, is the age in which kids try to be independent and loves to discover themselves as individuals, but at the same time, they still have a limited ability to communicate. Toddlers do imitate their parents or people around them and they literally wait to check for their reactions of their deeds, and look out for validations. By doing this, your kid will learn few new things and unlearn few. That will get imprinted in their curious little minds, that helps in asserting themselves to a greater extent.

The disciplinary action for different age group is different. Setting up disciplinary consequence is crucial but at the same time, discipline with love and caution, otherwise it may backfire.

As per experts, use of Time Out, Rewards & Co-counselling techniques can be used effectively in achieving the desired goals.

 

Why Indiscipline:

• Fear give rise to Indiscipline
• Sense of insecurity or unsafe feel
• Family disturbance or bad behaviour
• Bullying by peers
• The inability to express themselves
• Excessive pampering
• Lack of involvement of parents

 

Important techniques to teach discipline to your kids:

 ·         Set an example : As you ask your baby to do something, and you yourself not practicing the same, it doesn’t makes any sense. You need to do it yourself first, to help your kid understand it in a better way and then they tend to sink in into it. A parent is always been the torch bearer, who will lead from the front, paving way for the kid, which motivates kids to understand and perform it.

·         Be a good listener: Being a good listener to your kids, will do absolute wonders for both. Kids need undivided attention. Listening to them will help them open up in front of you.

 

·         Never say no to your kids: Instantly saying no to anything or everything to them might distant the relationship and affect the bonding. Also might irate and disturb them big time, which will lead to disagreement in them.

 

·         Ask for help: Asking your kid to help you in your work is no bad. This will make them feel important and would help in long run. For example, you can involve your kids in sorting their own toys after play.

 

·         Know when to end discussions: At times kids do show tantrums. While conversing or interacting, it’s important to cut it short, and to know when to stop the topic or divert it to something else. For example, at home if your kid wishes to play with a certain object which is really sharp and can hurt them. And they are in no mood to detach it from them, at that moment either you as a parent have to be a very good storyteller to divert their mind from that object to other things or you can give them something else to hold, which is safe for them.

 

·         Be Empathetic: Be like a kid, with a kid. Magic mantra to be at a win –win situation. Don’t you feel so? No kid is arrogant, anguish, intolerant without any reason. There must be a reason. As a parent you need to figure it out by being getting into their shoes. Try to connect emotionally with your kid as he might not able to express them completely, and that probably be the reason to show tantrums or being indiscipline. It’s very important to understand their mind, and what they want to tell or communicate with you, may be with their expressions or by their behaviour. Instead of angering or losing it on them, which seem difficult for a parent to hold, but being matured from kids, you need to be patient and hearing. Never react to kids negatively. It might have an adverse effect.

 

·         Be Respectful: Show respect to your kids. They will learn from your behaviour towards them and accordingly reciprocate. As parent, you lead, but at the same time not authoritative to them. Best way is take them along, to make feel closer to you and accepted. Give them a choice, which will show that you respect your toddler and recognize their feelings.

 

·          Punishment to kids is a strict no-no scenario.

 

·         Develop Self Control: Kids focus on one thing at a time, their mind processing is not as developed like an adult’s. They take little more time to process. That is why; change of their mind-set is not easy. Their logical quotient is not much developed, so self-realization is less. Mostly children lack impulse control at their initial ages. Self-control grip in them comes gradually, with the development of pre frontal cortex, and it increases with age. With time and age, your kid will develop better sense of reasoning, logic, judgement and focus too. To increase their impulse control system, you can buy Toys with impulse control, which will help them to understand and reactive to it. For instance, Ex – Traffic Signal. The traffic post with Red, Green, Yellow signals will help them to depict when to stop, when to get ready and when finally to move. This will surely strengthen their Impulse Control System.

 

·         Create a happy place/Safe zone: It’s important to make them feel safe and secured. If your kid is happy, then undoubtedly they will focus, take interest, learn, be creative, try to make decisions, choose, become smarter and in this process learn more and better.

In Anxiety / Stress zone, kids in this zone don’t feel safe, secure, wanted and loved. This is not the zone for your precious one.

 

·         Appreciate: Appreciate them for everything good they do. That will encourage them to keep doing good things, as they now know which all things are being appreciated. So, for doing good practices, kids got to be disciplined, which they will become eventually practicing.

Please note, at the same time its mandatory to correct their bad behaviour.

 

·         How to Behave?

No doubt, this will take time but it’s needed to shape up your toddler kid’s future. Help your kid learn the effective and healthy discipline strategies.

 

·         Help them Explore: All kids want to explore the world. Especially the toddlers, who have just recently got super active, out from their shell. But also figure out what all are safe for them and what all are unsafe. Speak to them and make them understand.

Example: No touch (Fire), Hot touch (Hot milk), Cold touch (Ice-cream) etc.

 

·         Set limits: It’s crucial to set limits to discipline your kid. This will also help them self-control. You can also set boundaries for them by keeping things out of their reach for a while.

For Instance, watching TV, it’s advisable to parents to set time limit for their kids while they watch their favorite series. Both will be equally happy.

 

·         Be Consistent: Consistency will build up a routine life, and that’s the essence of a disciplined life. Right time for taking nap, food, bathe, brush, stroll, and play makes a kid accustomed to daily routine life.

 

·         Avoid Stressful Situations: Avoid disturbing state of your kid. For example, do travelling to places as per their convenience. If they have vomiting tendencies or if get uneasy during traveling, then avoid such long distance travel with your kid, at least till the age they overcome it.

Another instance, please do take care of your kid when they feel or sleepy especially when you are out of home. It’s advisable to bring them to home as soon as possible to make them comfortable.

 

·         TIME OUT: You must have heard this terminology “Time Out” a lot of times. It’s a way to give your toddler baby a break of a minute or two, not more than that. This is to calm them and get themselves back in control.

Never choose a dark, secluded place; instead you can create a cosy place where they will be safe. This will create a positive impact on them, as they know, they are not appreciated for the act, for which they are here.

 

Perks of being a Disciplined Toddler

 

·         Self-Control & Increased focus

·         Good Behaviour & Mannerism

·         Empathetic towards others

·         Becomes expressive and communicate properly

·         Teaches them to accept instructions

·         Give respect to Authority

·         Became accountable

·         Finally a happy and loving kid

Amrita Priyadarshini (Mom of a super active Toddler & Entrepreneur)

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