Ways to comfort yours first born for a new sibling

Yay! Congratulations! 

The family is pregnant!

Off course it’s the biggest news for the entire family. Happiness knows no bound. Heart is growing bigger and merrier all around the house. 

More noise, more toys, some more shopping, happy cuddling and snuggling now.

It’s no surprise that the news of arrival of a new baby member can bring many changes to a family. By then there must be a set routine life for all existing members, but with this little value addition, the dynamics will change.

Sibling relationship is special and unique. Bonding between siblings comes naturally in most cases, but it is something that needs to be channelized and guided whenever it is needed.

Kid waiting for his Brother/Sister

These things encourage siblings to connect, live, learn, love and grow with each other. It’s important to feel togetherness and part of the same home team.

Parents will spend a lot of energy in preparations before and after home coming of the little baby. Much of the parent’s attention involves caring of the new born. Obviously the time given to the older sibling will get lessened to an extent. All this change would be hard for the older sibling to handle. It’s usual for them to get jealous towards the new born and behave in certain unusual ways.

New sibling can have an impact on your family. Understand and plan how to prepare your older child, introduce the new born baby and encourage a healthy sibling bond. Bringing home the second baby to home will be little different the second time around.

But no worries, it can be well handled. You can prepare yourself mentally, before preparing your older sibling for a happy extension of the family.

Little Baby with his Sister

Important Tips to handle the chaos:

New baby brings and challenges at the same time. Surely, you are excited but at the same time damn nervous to handle the same situation all over again. Undoubtedly, it’s the most amazing thing ever happened to you, but still it bring in a lot of side effects also.

One of the major hurdles is how your older baby will react and act seeing his new born sibling.

1.  Sharing the news:  Get the story teller out of you. Make the entire news easy for them to swallow with a smile on face. Remind him/her that he/she was a beautiful baby once, too.

2.  Involve: It’s very wise to involve your older sibling, take their advice or opinion. This will make them feel wanted and loved. Right from choosing their bedding, toys, pillows, cot and even clothes.

Involve your family and closed ones to mix more and take more time for your older kid so that he won’t feel left out or ignored.

Tell your older child to hold the baby first, before anyone else, will develop a sense of responsibility and belonging feeling towards their new born sibling.

 Introduce your baby to the new born with happy vibe and positive frame of mind.

 Never fail to praise for every single gesture of your older kid towards his/her newly born brother/sister.

Get their help in feeding finger food to their little brother/sister; entertain them by singing, caricature, dance etc. during diaper change or making them eat. Can also get their help in pushing carriage/stroller, talk to baby while dressing up, bathe, or burp the baby. It’s do help in making the tough work an easy thing to do.

Ask to open baby gifts, ways to take care of little one, take pictures etc. and encourage them while doing it.

Expect a little moodiness: Perfectly Normal!

 

Happy Family

4.   Listen Carefully: Be a good listener, rather being impatient.

Try to calm him down, and not impose, knowing anyway the older one have to adjust. Be a little empathetic to your older baby as it’s new for him and difficult to deal with.

If your child expresses no interest in the baby, don’t be alarmed and don’t force it. It can take time, and it’s quite obvious to go through this.

Prepare and more prepare: Practice will make this easier for your older sibling and subsequently your peace of mind is intact.

·         Let your child hear you talk about the “new baby” and feel your happiness and excitement. They will get as excited as you all are, as they have the tendencies to copy and replicate the same reactions.

·         Show pictures of family, with the new born also. That will create an idea that you all are a single family.

·         Also frequently remind your older sibling is that the new born is your Brother/Sister. It ensures their acceptance for the new one.

·         Teach soft touches. “No hitting, time out”. It not at all a punishment, but way to help him learn that the act done is not appropriate, and it’s not permissible.

 

Happy Family

6.       Age wise reactions: Children of different ages will react differently to a new baby. Knowing what to expect from each age group will make it easier to handle the changes in your family.

 ·         Toddlers – Age 1 to 2 years, usually doesn’t understand. So, it’s easier to handle them.

·         Pre-schooler’s – Age 2 to 4 years, these age child are generally very sensitive. They are so emotional and possessive for their parents, which they get uncomfortable very easily. In fact they might get scared by the news also. You as a parent, try to comfort them by speaking and spending quality time with them. When the new baby arrives, try to do something special for your older child. You can always surprise them with their favourite toy. You can take them to their favourite muffin/ice cream parlour. Take them to the nearby zoo or water park to have fun time. Watching a good children movie is not a bad idea either. It will surely make things easy for both of you.

·         5 Years Above – As they have developed bit of understanding, it’s advisable to discuss all the aspect, both good and bad.

 

7.       Hand holding the Older Child: Its important as it will make yours work lesser or peaceful.  For example;

 ·         Toilet training to older kid:  Your older child won’t be dependent on you to help him/her out for cleaning of his /her poop.

·         Weaning off: Weaning off from breast feeding is better as you have to feed your new born.

·         Showing them Wardrobe : It’s important to show them which clothes or accessories are kept where, so they can take it out themselves and won’t be searching out for you or calling you loud to get their things done.

·         Calm them: Prepare your children before going to hospital, say them that, you will right back to them in no time. This will surely make them happy. Try to do things, by keeping your older baby close to you.

Happy Family

Setting special Time: It’s important to take out special time for the older child. Helping them in studies, playing games, singing or dancing, going on strolls are amongst the few.

Enrollment: Enroll in a hospital sibling class designed for children and parents to learn together. It definitely helps in understanding and ways to go about it.They guide how to act in a particular situation, to make things look easier. Develops sibling bond as well.

Be Supportive: Acknowledge your child’s unspoken feelings. When your child knows that, you understand his/her feelings, they’ll have less need to act up to get your attention. Don’t say no to their wish immediately, instead reply back by mentioning, “My hand are busy now, we will do this after few minutes”.

If you can share few more techniques, please write in comment box below.